PSNI Craigavon say full moon and the ‘Bucky Monster’ no excuse for crime

Russell Cummins had drunk a bottle and a half of Buckfast before the alleged incident
Russell Cummins had drunk a bottle and a half of Buckfast before the alleged incident

PSNI Craigavon say a full moon and the ‘Bucky Monster’ are no excuses for crime after a spate of incidents last night.

And they revealed that the PSNI Craigavon Facebook has gained an international fan club having received fan mail from across the globe.

Full moon on sat at Ballyholm Bay.  Pic Bernie Brown

Full moon on sat at Ballyholm Bay. Pic Bernie Brown

Meanwhile this morning and after a long night dealing with alcoholics, disturbances, burglary and a missing person, an exhausted crew took to Facebook to record their busy night.

In a letter to the people of the area, the PSNI said:

“Dear Craigavon,

“This is not an excuse! A full moon does not mean the Bucky Monster can come out to play. Forget the volleyball, I didn’t even get to watch it on my phone let alone TV.

“Night shift Craigavon area in brief then:

“1 x missing person (returned safe and well)

“1 x alcoholic removed from a garden shed he tried to make his bed for the night and taken home to Armagh.

“1 x disturbance in Enniskeen resulting in an arrest for disorderly behaviour. He’ll wake up in Armagh custody.

“2 x distressed males at crisis point. Both taken by ourselves to hospital and seen by health care professionals.

“1 x drunk moved on from a play park. That spongey stuff probably is comfy to sleep on in fairness.

“1 x disturbance in Woodville Street, Lurgan. Male arrested for burglary. Arresting officer later headbutted by suspect. No lasting damage other than to his pride. Metal bar also found on suspect. Another breakfast in Armagh custody.

“Some of the guys are still wading through the necessary paperwork for that lot. The rest of us are off for some serious snoozy time.

“On the upside I got through some of the private messages tonight. Everything from party invites, pleas for girlfriend advice, to questions about busking. Also some fan mail from England, Australia, and even Strabane. Good to see Craigavons gone global.

“Also got a message promising to go to the Ombudsman about an officer who arrested their friend. I thought the name sounded familiar and then checked. Whoops, that was me ‪#‎Awkward‬

Same time tonight? See you all then!”