Brexit could hit Buckfast supplies

Buckfast supplies could be hit by Brexit, it has been revealed.

Monday, 1st April 2019, 7:00 am

In the latest Brexit scare it has been claimed the tonic wine could be impacted by Brexit as a result of a shortage of a key ingredient - the ‘toenails’.

For many Buckfast enthusiasts the sediment found at the bottom of the distinctive green bottles is the most ‘satisfying’ - or grimace inducing - part of the ‘Buckfast experience’.

However, with the toenails specially imported from the Burgundy region of France the UK’s exit from the EU could mean supplies are cut off.

According to our sources at Buckfast Abbey, they only have a week’s supply of the toenails on hand - or should we say at foot.

Once those run out the Benedictine Monks may be reduced to using emergency supplies - but it’ll be a couple of weeks before their own nails are long enough for a trim.

A Buckfast shortage could have a profound impact on a number of businesses - not least the off-licence trade.

However, local solicitors are also bracing themselves for a resultant downturn in trade, while police social media gurus are concerned the shortage could mean a shortage of tall tales to regale their many followers with.

The court service also plans to use the shortage to get rid of a backlog of other cases.

Local builders are also concerned a shortage of ‘wreck the house juice’ could impact their businesses.

A spokesperson for a key supplier of Buckfast. Ms April Loof said: “The toenails Buckfast Abbey imports are from a very specific part of the Burgundy region with the grape crushers there supplying an extra bite for Buckfast.

“The flavour imparted by Burgundy infused toenails is an essential element but they need to be brought in fresh. The brothers at the Abbey are willing to step in to supply their own clippings but they are very traditional and wear sandals - which would add a little too much grittiness to the wine.”

In the event of a shortage a special helpline will be set up - with preference given to callers from Lurgan.