New PSNI character '˜Dissident Dan' proving popular

Conjured up during a tea break one witty PSNI officer wrote a piece with the new character in the lead role.

It has been inspired by recent attacks in Lurgan including a security alert, a five hour riot and a gun attack.

The violence has been blamed on dissident republicans.

Dissident Dan is a stick man with an attitude and a woollen balaclava.

He is based on a similar stick figure who has taken the internet by storm. Bill is a polite stick man who is clogging up Facebook timelines with tongue-in-cheek advice about the correct way to behave online. Dissident Dan is the opposite.

The PSNI post said: “This is dissident Dan. Dissident Dan has an irrational hatred of trains. Dissident Dan also hates the people of Lurgan going about their day to day lives in peace.

“Dissident Dan lives in the past, and puts things on the train tracks in order to stop the trains, and his own community. Don’t be like Dan.”

The message ended with a “HUGE” thank you to people in north Lurgan for their patience during the alert.

“Thank you for your kind words as we went door to door, and for the 99.9% of you who didn’t come out throwing stuff at us or shooting at us as we tried to keep you safe.

“The alert is now over and the roads are open. Trains will get back to normal over the coming hours,” they said.